So, I skipped a day. So what?
Midnight Toker really took the wind outta my blogging sails with his slander and half-truths (my assistant is really my Mom and who doesn't yell at their Mom from time to time?) on his shameless, unpopular blog. Check it out here: http://midnighttoke.blogspot.com/
In order to make up for it, dear reader(s), (sorry 'bout Wednesday, Mom), I am going to offer up on Pistola Whipped gets a life one of my great, favorite American pastimes...2-4-1s.
Lamely, I put myself up on the ol' Sober Wagon after last week's five-day bender in which I lost my dignity, self-esteem and virginity (they say you gain it back if you don't do it after seven years). And yes, I'm lying...I never truly had any of those qualities at the start of the bender (except the virginity). Nevertheless, the bender took a toll on my mental, emotional and physical health. So, here I sit unable to attend a happy hour with my co-workers and instead of slugging twenty pairs of dangerously cold, casual ones I am going to cheaply replace them with 2-4-1s on Pistola Whipped gets a life.
Bartender...
The first foamy delight is Pistola Whipped would be complete if she was dating this celebrity...
What else can I say? Unfortunately I'm not dating Paul Rudd and even more unfortunately I'm blacklisted from interviewing any celebrities for my blog (Mom, please gimme back my phone privileges). So, I could make up an interview with Paul Rudd, but that would be lying and all my reader(s) know I'm an extremely honest individual.
Okay, now that I'm pretty much wasted drunk, let's start sipping on the next tasty tall one...
Pistola Whipped gets a life by replacing love with this...
Sorry. Had to do it. And now I've convinced myself to hop off this rickety wagon and go indulge in a frosty mug. I need love after all!
Peace out.
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